I've learned that to evolve I must grow comfortable being messy.

I must feel safe enough, to tell the truth about my behaviors, motivations and beliefs in order to see beyond my limiting perceptions of reality and impulses to protect.

I've learned, by trial and error, that to become the most effective agent of change I need to understand what aspects of myself I have exiled -- and learn how to befriend and call these parts home.   

This is what I have devoted my life to -- professionally and personally. 

For me, there is no separation between who I am with clients and who I am in my personal life.

I was taught to be "professional", not to be messy. 

But, really?  How does hiding my own personal process, and ongoing growth edges, serve my clients or the systems we collaborate in together?

Hiding doesn't serve anyone.  In fact, it only further feeds shame and ego-centric narratives about ourselves. 

These internalized narratives become the fuel responsible for activating the protective behaviors of criticism, blame, shame and self-doubt.

It makes sense, we establish safety by avoiding feeling inadequate, rejected or powerless.

Yet, the irony is that in order to evolve we can no longer avoid our messy, reactive and confused states.

The power of being seen and welcomed — even when we’re messy

To integrate, and live from our wholeness, we need to be seen and welcomed in our most reactive and messy expressions. We don't need to be approached with an agenda to fix, reject or judge these protective parts of us.

It's been vulnerable for me to lead in this way. And, it continues to be the most enlivening and confronting ride of my life. Everyone is a teacher and gift --especially the people I feel most triggered by.

Through growing my capacity to meet the exiled and dark places in myself, I am more equipped to compassionately do the same for others. This is one of the most fundamental tools of transformation that I offer to the leaders I guide and support.

I believe that when we are seen, supported and accepted in our most reactive states, a new way of leading takes root.

What if I told you that becoming an authentic leader is not the end game?

What if there is more? Would you want to hear about it? There is a whole next level, it's called integral leadership. Check out my podcast episode:An Evolutionary Step Beyond Authentic Leadership, what?!

Podcast Summary

1. Why integral leadership?

2. "Please call me by my true name", Thich Nhat Hanh's poem

3. Integral leadership defined

4. The movement from authentic leadership to integral leadership

5. Five phases of leadership development

6. The shift from reactive to creative leadership

7. The shift from creative to integral leadership

8. The key marker of an integral leader is a devotion to embracing one's shadows

9. Integral leadership immersions with Anne-Marie

10. Feeling safe enough to be messy -- a key to all transformation

I’m always looking for stories of inspiring leaders who are integrating their shadows within themselves and the systems they serve. Please contact me if you want to share your story or be a guest on my Power Reclamation Podcast.