What is Relational Power?
The art of consciously engaging in loving, transparent, and co-creative relationships — with ourselves, others, and all of life
Do you ever find yourself trying to please others or conforming to their expectations instead of being true to your own needs?
Do you feel as if you need to continually “earn” love, rather than feeling intrinsically lovable?
Do you struggle to feel seen, heard, and connected in relationships?
If so, strengthening your Relational Power will help you gain the confidence to bring your undefended self to relationships and deepen your experience of trust, connection, and co-creative partnership with others.
About Relational Power
Relationships will reveal our creative capacity to love and our reactive impulse to protect.
Our adult relationships unveil the fabric of our internal world, and the subconscious ways we attempt to repair heartbreaks from childhood conditioning.
The challenging patterns we encounter as adults often point to unresolved pain and beliefs about safety, love, connection, freedom, power and worthiness that we learned as children.
The key to understanding the root causes of our relationship patterns is to investigate our personal adaptive strategies and conditioned behaviors.
Each strategy was formed as an ingenious attempt to manage complex feelings of disappointment and vulnerability that we encountered as children when our basic emotional, psychological, and physical needs were consistently missed. The more we understand how we habitually operate, the more conscious choice we have. Relational power is about studying the code of our operating systems by looking within.
The good news is this: there is profound healing and transformation available in our relationships! Each time we practice transparency, cultivate real emotional intimacy, and commit to taking personal ownership for our wounds and conditioning, we call more of ourselves back home.
We have the power to interrupt what no longer serves us and make conscious relationship choices that fulfill, heal, and uplift us into greater levels of growth and intimacy.
Together, we bolster our Relational Power by exchanging feedback — especially when one of us is operating from limiting beliefs or strategies based on fear, control, or scarcity. In these conscious relationships, we share about impact and listen to one another with empathy and care.
Sometimes this can be messy and difficult when we’re both triggered, but we can choose to stay in the game together, even when that requires time and space to digest and cool down.
We also celebrate and express appreciation for one another’s remarkable capacity to love, and practice radical acceptance for our differences and for our mammalian messiness.
Relational Power is fortified by creating a container of safety, trust, and love — both within ourselves, and with trusted allies.
“We’re walking contradictions, seeking safety and predictability on one hand, and on the other hand, a need to thrive through diversity and novelty.”
When you’re in your Relational Power you most likely feel:
the safety and trust to be vulnerable and open-hearted
a commitment to deepening emotional intimacy through the art of listening, attuning, and remaining curious
empowered to own your needs, desires, and boundaries
a devotion to taking personal responsibility for your adaptive strategies — and to choosing connection over protection
When you’re out of rhythm with your Relational Power you might feel:
a struggle in setting boundaries or honoring the boundaries of others when they go against your needs
compelled to sweep conflict under the rug, instead of taking leadership to have difficult conversations in order to deepen intimacy and trust
avoidant of asserting your needs in relationship when you anticipate it will disappoint someone else
a need to lure partners or friends into rescuing you from your anxiety or loneliness
Self-inquiry:
Do you feel an inner conflict between your longing for connection and your need for freedom and space?
How do you manage having needs? Do you avoid the vulnerability of needing help by being self-reliant and doing it all on your own? Or do you automatically turn to others to soothe your anxiety of feeling helpless?
What is your vision for a healthy, conscious, loving relationship? What do you long to experience more of in your relationships?
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